


Reckless love.

by soriksorik



Category: The 100, The 100 (TV), The 100 (TV) RPF, The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Heartbreak, Love, Other, Self-Hatred, kind of, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 23:16:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soriksorik/pseuds/soriksorik
Summary: Finn reminiscing about his failed romances.





	Reckless love.

Gaze running over the night sky, Finn relaxed in the fresh grass, inhaling the clean scent of the air, so different from the stale air on the Ark.

He still couldn’t get used to all this freedom, the everlasting freshness and the difference between waking up here and on the Ark. Up there you never really got to freshen up, waking up every day with the same muscle pain, the same soreness that you went to bed with, and that same everlasting headache due to the intake of carbon dioxide, and although the levels were constantly regulated, it was still inhaled by a bigger quantity than desired, bringing about obvious consequences.

Fingers slipped through the grass, feeling the cool ground underneath as his other hand played with her necklace, the one she had returned to him.

One big difference between waking up here and waking up on the Ark was the empty bed he had been met with almost every day after they first landed. Yes, his bed had been empty while in confinement too, and yet the sensation that she was somewhere there, sleeping in a different room a few meters away from him had made him feel less lonely.

When they had first dropped, first fallen asleep inside the dropship, huddled together and afraid, it had dawned on him that instead of it been just a few meters between them now, it was kilometers and that those kilometers also meant that he would most probably never see her. It had killed him to think that he would never come to see her smile, never feel the warmth of her breath against his skin, never smell her sweet scent as she walked inside the room, never hear her melodic laugh...

He could still remember the day he had first kissed her, pulling her impossibly close. She was much shorter than him and yet, at that moment, their height difference felt perfect as their mouths collided, two jagged puzzle pieces coming together to form a beautiful picture.

She hadn’t pushed him away like he had expected her to, no, instead, she had clung onto him, melting into his embrace. He had pulled her as close as their bodies had allowed it, drowning in the taste that was her.

Raven had been his everything during years up at the Ark. She had been his family, his best friend, his lover. He had shared everything with her; his happiness, his pain, his pleasure. He had been hers, and she had been his.

“What was that?” She had asked when he had finally pulled back, coming up for much-needed air.

“Don’t you know?” He had quipped, pushing back a loose strand of hair and tucking it behind her ear. “I love you…”

Finn sighed, eyelids fluttering closed. He could recall her smell even now, taste her on his tongue, feel her skin against his… but those sensations were no longer as clear as before. Now there was a small dark cloud to all of them, a different scent, a different smell, a different feeling creeping up on him.

He hadn’t realized what it was until recently. He hadn’t realized that the shadow in the back of his mind was Clarke, creeping up on him whenever he thought of Raven, reminding him who else shared his heart.

Finn was torn. Unsure. Afraid. How could he love two women at the same time? How could he be willing to risk his life for both Raven and Clarke?

Clarke was a breath of fresh air, hope, the promise of a better future. Raven was familiarity, comfort, his past. They were two polar opposites molding themselves into his heart, leaving a permanent scar.

He had messed up, big time, breaking both Clarke’s and Raven’s hearts. He had never intended for it to happen, never intended to hurt the two women in his life, and yet, here he was, laying in the cold grass, staring up at the stars all on his own, with Raven’s necklace in his hands and Clarke’s memory in the back of his head.

Finn, who had always prided himself with being just and honest and kind, had behaved dishonestly, painting him in the light of a cheater, something he had never wanted to be, but at the moment in which he had allowed himself to collide with Clarke he had felt lost, hopeless, giving in to his desires without thinking of the consequences, and when those had crossed his mind it had been entirely too late. He had already been holding Raven in his arm, her mouth pressed against his for that much-needed kiss after what had seemed like an endless separation.

He had messed up… big time… and he was going to pay the price for it. He was already paying the price for it. He had lost both Clarke and Raven but he had no one but himself to blame for it.


End file.
